Letters home, item 5

• January 17, 2018 20:00:11 Thomas A. Lingner

  The C. O. sent me to a village behind the line to

  organize billets etc & be responsible for everything that goes on in it.

  It is a bon job. My command (!) is a small village

  but with all the inhabitants I have to put in

  some thousands of men & numerous officers.

  My job is to be ready at all hours of the day & night

  to arrange for board & lodging for anything that may roll

  up from a drummer-boy to a field marshal & in numbers

  in three or fours to thousands. The rest of my job

  & the biggest part is, when these people have been

  accomodate, to hear their complaints & to try & calm  down 

  live generals who are purple with rage about something.

  A few examples: -

  (a) General Cayenne-Pepper K.C.B., O.M., etc is quite prepared

  to sleep in a room 10ft by 6ft together with a Major, but

  he objected to having to climb over the orderlies who slept 

  on the stairs to get to bed.

  (b) Sgt. Smith finds his bed on the door-mat, comfortable, but

  very draughty.

  (c) 1010101 Pte. Smith T. does not mind sleeping on four of

  his pals, but he does not like to sleep on 3 dirty cooks who

  get up at 3 a.m. & on two sanitary.

  (d) Farmer M'sier Pichot complains in very voluble

  Patois that his best pig has disappeared.

  (e) 10472 Pte Jones A. under arrest & looking very well fed

  says the pig must have fallen into the river & been

  drowned.

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