Tijdschrift 'The BYSTANDER', 12 juni 1918, item 4

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Left column

448

BYSTANDER COMMENTS (continued)

swathed in newspapers from the time he steps nimbly

from his bath until that at which he sinks exhausted

on his couch. Aforetime the paper-picker, the sorter

of waste-paper, was a sort of also-ran in the directory

list of weird professions or trades. To-day, the man

who buys waste-paper is a top-liner. In fact the

redoubtable Kelly is said to be contemplating a

Directory of Waste-Paper Merchants.

Things that Don't

I AM keeping a little note-book especially to record

the stupendous happenings which go off at

half-cock, the trying occurrences which never occurred.

Irish Home Rule, ditto Conscription, the Luxury

Tax, the Queuing-up in Newgate Street of the Forty-

Seven Thousand (not to be confused with Trelawny's

friends, by the by !)--all these things were announced

as just-going to begin, and those who were against

them were just as angry as those who were for them

were pleased. Members of either faction strode

about the land saying: " Didn't I say so ? Didn't

I tell you, by Jove ? " There were quite unsubdued

chortles, or gnashings of teeth, according to the tastes

and fancies of the hearer of rumours, and the world

wagged most distractingly.

Ridiculus Mus

YET not even a clockwork mouse emerged from

the mountain of rather premature lamentation,

Drawing of a German solider with eagle helmet firing pistols at a white cross, the bullet holes forming a W

Signature David Wilson + W. F. B.

THE HUN SEES "RED"

Right column

The Bystander, June 12, 1918

or celebration; and one could say, time after time,

" Sold again, by Jingo ! " Very unsettling, all this.

If I were quite sure of the pronunciation--I have

verified the spelling !--I should say " Voyez ! Ce

canard etait deja quelquechose ! C'est la guerre, vous

savez ! " As I am not, I will echo the remark, on a

famous occasion, of the President of the Pickwick

Club. " I was ruminating," said Mr. Pickwick,

" on the strange mutability of human affairs." They

certainly are mutable of late.

Guarding the Ports

I HEAR that really wonderful precautions are being

taken--and, indeed, have been for some time--

to make sure of the bona fides of entrants into England.

The system of scrutiny has been reduced to a fine art.

This reflects great credit on a hard-working and

absolutely unadvertised body of public servants.

If only similar measures could be adopted to sift out

the dwellers in our midst--as quite easily might be

done--it would be all to the good.

Enemy Propaganda

IS the enemy getting a show for the vast sums being

spent on propaganda in the United Kingdom ?

I cannot see where it comes in. Certainly not in

newspapers or magazines, nor, indeed, in leaflets.

The picture palaces and theatres are closed to the

same class of effort, and really no places are open but

the House of Commons, pulpits, and

Law Courts. In neither the first nor

second--cranks apart--are its pros-

pects rosy, so we may look for activities

before the judges. There is nothing

easier than to bring a case, and one's

evidence can be mixed to one's

liking. Once in court, the Press

will do the rest.

Taxing the Taxi=men

MANY who have suffered at the

hands--or tongues--of the

London taxi-drivers will chuckle to

hear that they have at last fallen

under the grip of the income-tax

collector. Another privileged class's

interests rudely assaulted--for the

benefit of the community ! Without

the formality of the usual buff form

for declaration of income, the drivers

have been assessed, straight away, at

an income of L182 per annum, and

requested to pay accordingly. And

their advisers have recommended

them to pay. As the average taxi-

man makes about a pound a day, the

assessment does not err on the side of

excess. A week's wage toward the

war won't hurt him ; but I have no

doubt that his lamentations will be

loud.

A Little Difference of Amount

IF the taxi-men object to paying

up, it is, of course, open to them to

prove that the assessment is too high

by supplying the figures of income for